


Try, Try Again

by chilled_ramune



Series: Our Feelings [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi lives AU, M/M, Pining, Recovery, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-01-24 13:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chilled_ramune/pseuds/chilled_ramune
Summary: Goro is alive, and Yuuki wants to try their friendship again after everything that happened. But with the repairing of their friendship comes a new burden: the feelings they've been trying to avoid since they met. (Follow up to Feelings Left Unspoken.)
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Mishima Yuuki
Series: Our Feelings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538248
Comments: 36
Kudos: 65





	1. Sleeping Beauty's Curse

**Author's Note:**

> Am I writing a wholeass multi chapter followup to a prompt request fic? PERHAPS. Am I starting another multichapter on top of my current one? ALSO PERHAPS. Do I have any regrets? NO. 
> 
> This will of course make a lot more sense if you read the previous fic of the series, Feelings Left Unspoken! 
> 
> Big ol spoiler warning but if you've clicked this you probably already know that.

There wasn’t much to accompany Yuuki in the glaringly bright white room. The steady, rhythmic beep of the heart monitor and his cluttered thoughts were all he heard. He didn’t understand most of what Akira said when he explained the situation. Honestly most of it didn’t make sense, but what little he did understand made him want to see Goro more than anything else. He looked at the bed again. Of course, Goro still wasn’t conscious. There was a chance he never would be. There was so much Yuuki wanted to say, so much he never got to say. Their painful friendship never even truly got closure. Even if Goro hated him now, he at least wanted that much. He at least wanted to end things on a somewhat of a positive note. That wasn’t too much to ask for, right? 

It seemed it would be. He visited one day, two days, three, and Goro showed no sign of waking up. Each time he left, Yuuki worried that visit would be his last, that he’d never be able to get the closure he wanted, that Goro would leave the world not realizing just how much Yuuki still cared for him. He needed to clear his mind of these clouded thoughts. But even if Goro did wake up, could he say them? Or would he cower away without saying a word? 

Without much to do aside from stare blankly at the bed, Yuuki found himself frequently looking through the books and magazines stacked on the small bookshelf in the room. The books were well worn, and many of the magazines had been outdated for months, even years, but they were better than nothing. A mystery novel (_Put that aside. He might like to read it. If he hasn’t already.), _ gIrly advice and fashion magazines, a children’s chapter book, a book for learning basic English words and phrases, _ a fairy tale book_! Yuuki’s face lit up with a childlike delight when he picked the book up. Fairy tales were always his favorite. Growing up, he’d always demand hearing one before bed, and he often found himself torn between wanting to be the princess, and wanting to be the prince or knight that saves her. He opened the book and flipped through the different tales. Cinderella the first day, Rapunzel the second, Snow White the third, Sleeping Beauty the fourth.

_ And so, the princess pricked her finger, and was cursed to an unending slumber _. 

_ An unending slumber _...

Yuuki paused on the words “unending slumber.” _ How familiar... _He cast his gaze at the bed only for a second before returning to the book.

_ A slumber that would only be interrupted by true love’s kiss. _

Again, Yuuki paused on the words in front of him. What was his mind trying to tell him...? Why was he lingering so much on those words...? Why did his lips burn so much...? It was starting to get late. He put the book back on the shelf and headed out to go home. 

On the fifth day, Yuuki felt more tense than ever. Usually, he could at least watch over Goro without much stress, but the fearful feeling overwhelmed him as soon as he walked in. On most days he would sit across the room and read, not daring to get near the bed. But for some reason he felt he needed to see Goro up close. He sighed softly as he looked at his former friend’s face. He was comparable to Sleeping Beauty under her curse. A still, beautiful prince waiting for a spell to be broken... _ This isn’t a fairytale, you idiot. There isn’t a way to break this spell. There’s not going to be a Happily Ever After. _Yuuki found a lump in his throat that made just breathing nearly impossible. He couldn’t hold back anymore. He needed to get his closure. 

“Goro- man, this is stupid, you can’t even hear me can you? I shouldn’t even bother, but I can’t keep quiet anymore.” 

His voice wavered as he spoke. His words were delicate little things, sitting at the edge of an unstable shelf, ready to shatter in seconds. How could he say what was on his mind? Why was he even saying this to someone that wouldn’t hear?

“I-I don’t even know how to say any of this. I still don’t know everything about the situation, except that you risked yourself to save the Thieves. They were your enemies not too long ago, and you nearly died for them. You could-”

His words teetered on the edge of the shelf, and a single feather could send them crashing to the ground. Everything was so overwhelming. His voice was strained and cracked, and he let out the thoughts he hid for far too long. 

“You could have died. And now you’re here and you might still die and I’m _ scared _. I’m afraid you’ll leave thinking I hate you. I don’t hate you. I never did. I-” 

The words came crashing down in a mess of crystal tears. The weight Yuuki carried for months finally hit him, and it hurt more than he could ever hope to handle

“I care about you so... _ so _ much. E-even when we stopped talking, I th-thought about you all the time. Sometimes... sometimes I just wanted to talk to you again. An-and now I might not get that chance. God, I... I feel stupid, spilling my heart out to you like this. You’ll never know, and I might not get the chance to tell you but I just- I wish I could tell you one last time how much I care about you.” 

The last shattered remains of his words spilled onto the ground as he sobbed. Goro stayed the same, still as ever. _ Idiot. Did you think that would work like some magic spell? That's not how things work. Stop acting like a child! _ He backed off from the bed and fell into one of the chairs across the room. He sat there for a bit, knees pulled to his chest and face buried in his knees, and let out all the emotions that had been weighing down on him all week. _ This isn’t a fairytale. He’s not waking up. You’re never going to fix things. Even if he did wake up, what makes you think he’d forgive you?! You’re pathetic. _He let his mind tear itself apart as he cried out every last bit of frustration, until there was nothing left to cry. He still sat there, knees pulled up to his chest, silent and unmoving until the last of his energy drifted away.

“Sir? Excuse me?”

Yuuki groaned as he looked up at the source of the voice. A nurse leaned over him, her brow furrowed slightly. Did he fall asleep...? “Oh...sorry...” 

“It’s fine. Visitors fall asleep all the time.” The nurse backed off of him and smiled. “But visiting hours are over.” 

Yuuki sighed as he got up, and looked over at Goro for a moment. “No changes, huh?” 

“Unfortunately no. Just give it time, okay? I’m sure he’ll recover soon.” 

The words felt so empty. Like she was just trying to comfort him so he didn’t start crying again. He couldn’t argue though. He just trudged out of the room, his mood no better than when he fell asleep. _ “He’ll recover soon.” Yeah right. Stop trying to make me feel better. _

Six days, seven, eight, passed. Things didn’t change. Yuuki couldn’t bring himself to read more of the fairy tales. The old magazines didn’t hold his attention as much, but the book gave him a sense of uneasiness that wouldn’t go away. Not that he needed the book to feel uneasy. His worries would do that enough. 

The world had hardly noticed how long Goro was gone, there wasn’t any news announced about his condition, no fans trying to get in, nothing. It was almost like he had been forgotten. Goro didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be remembered, celebrated even. At the same time, if Goro was remembered, it would mean having to see him on the news all the time. It would mean being reminded of him again, and again, and again. Yuuki couldn’t decide which sounded worse. Both were nightmares. But they were the only futures he could see happening at this point. 

After nine days, Yuuki had given up. He hardly even wanted to visit anymore, but more than that, he didn’t want Goro to be alone. He didn’t even want to read at this point. The magazine remained open in his lap as he stared down at it, not able to process the words as his mind became cluttered with thoughts of what was, in his mind, the inevitable end. How much longer would the world drag out his pain like this?

While lost in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the quiet shifting noises coming from the bed, the mumbled nonsense, or the soft gasp. It took a small, weak voice calling his name to make him look up. “...Yuuki...?” 

Yuuki looked up with a start, his eyes wide. He stared with his mouth hanging open as he tried to process what was happening in front of him. 

“Am I...alive...?” Goro’s voice was weak. It hurt to talk. Everything felt so strange, like the whole world was a mucky mud puddle on the side of a busy street. He tried to gather his memory. The Palace...the Phantom Thieves...that cognitive version of himself that existed inside that bastard’s heart...gunshots...and then nothing. Nothing until he found himself here, in this bed, with Yuuki staring at him. What was he doing here? Why did he seem so shocked? The last time he and Yuuki talked, it ended with the usual fighting their friendship had dissolved into. So what was he doing here, in what he could only assume was a hospital room? Why did he look so shocked? What was going on? Why did having Yuuki here make things just a little better? 

Yuuki stared at Goro, his mind taking its time to process that _ Oh my god he’s alive. He’s awake and alive and he’s here he’s okay he’s not dead he’s fine. Everything’s going to be fine. _ His vision blurred as tears filled his eyes, and when he tried to speak all that came out was a shaky, broken sob. He struggled with his words a few times, but finally managed a soft. “You’re okay.” He smiled and laughed between sobs. _ He’s fine! He’s actually fine! _

The crying threw Goro off. It worried him for just a moment, but was Yuuki smiling? He was happy? _ Was he...was he waiting for me to get up? How long was I out? _“Were you- were you waiting for me?”

“Of course I was!” Yuuki’s voice cracked when he spoke. Why wouldn’t he wait?! Didn’t Goro know how much he- _ Oh, right. _In all his emotions, he forgot about their falling out. Did Goro still hate him? Was he mad about him waiting like this? Or maybe- maybe they could make things up now. Maybe they could start again. Last time he spilled his feelings, Goro wasn’t able to hear it. This time he could. This time Yuuki could fix things. He got up and walked to the side of the bed. “So... you feeling okay?”

“I’ve certainly been better.” _ You make it a lot easier. _

“I don’t want to drop a whole lot on you right now, but I just- I want you to know I still care, Goro. And I’m so, so glad you’re alive.” Yuuki relaxed and smiled. They could talk about things in detail later. Or not. Maybe it’d be better to just let things happen. Before anything could continue, a knock came at the door. 

Goro sighed. Nurses probably. Time for the fun stuff... “Come in.” Sure enough, a nurse walked in the door. _ Thanks for ruining the moment. I guess. _

Yuuki smiled at the nurse to hide his disappointment. “Well, I should head out then.”

“You’ll be back tomorrow, right?” Goro asked. If he was going to suffer through all this medical bullshit- checkups and therapies and whatever else they were going to throw at him- he wanted at least one thing to look forward to.

The question stunned Yuuki at first. Goro wanted to see him? Were things really going to be okay again? His expression soon faded into a small, peaceful smile. “Of course I will. I’ll see you then.” With that settled, he walked out and headed back home, with a smile on his face for the first time in a long while. 


	2. Film Critics Not-So-Anonymous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goro wants out. Yuuki makes a plan. Both have their doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy, it's chapter 2 time!!! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter, I love it so much. It's my child now. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much!!!

Goro stayed conscious, and seemed to be recovering rather quickly. The miserable therapy sessions were finished after a couple days, but they still wanted to monitor him for another week. Horrible. He was ready to get out of that hospital room well before he was scheduled for release, but still, he was trapped there. It was miserable. He felt worthless just laying there all day. The food was horrible, and there was nothing to do but flip through the limited, boring channels on TV and read the small selection of books and outdated magazines (there was however a mystery novel he had been meaning to read that was strangely set apart from the rest...how lucky!). Sometimes he’d go for a short walk, but that never seemed to alleviate his boredom. He was completely uninterested in the patient activity the nurses told him about as well. Interacting with others sounded like a pain. He just wanted the week to be over with so he could return to his life, whatever that meant at this point. His future was something he didn’t want to think about until he absolutely had to. 

Yuuki being there for him helped, at least. He came every day without fail, and usually wouldn’t leave until the end of visiting hours. The two would talk for hours on end. It was as if their friendship falling apart, all the fights they had before, all the pain they went through. It felt like all of that had never happened. They picked things up right where they left off, with _ Featherman _references and inside jokes, playful teasing and a certain sort of fondness that Goro had almost forgotten. The fondness for Yuuki’s laugh, for the shine in his eyes when he got excited, and for the little things a normal person probably shouldn’t notice about their friends, like the way he tapped his fingers on the back of his phone while they talked, always a bit faster when he was excited. But, of course he would notice small things in someone’s body language. It was just his detective’s intuition. It wasn’t strange for him to be that observant. It’s not like he thought it was cute or anything like that. 

* * *

Yuuki hated that Goro was stuck in this room for another whole week. He knew how much Goro hated being confined in such a small room with so little to do. He wanted them to go out and do something already! They were friends again, they should celebrate that! It happened so naturally, too. It was as if they never grew apart in the first place. There wasn’t so much as a mention of the Phantom Thieves or their past arguments. It all felt so natural and real. Yuuki would be completely content with the break in their friendship and what led to it never coming up again. 

After only two days, Yuuki was determined to make Goro’s stay more pleasant. He deserved better than this. He already planned to sneak in homemade lunches so Goro could eat something better than the bland, dry sandwiches he was forced to suffer through. But there had to be a bit more than that. He studied the room for any opportunities, and his eyes caught the DVD player under the TV that was anchored to the wall. 

“Do they have any DVDs here?” He asked. 

“A small selection,” Goro replied. “They brought them in for me. Nothing too interesting, unfortunately.” _ Aside from the Featherman collection I was too embarrassed to ask for. _

With that, Yuuki hatched his plan. He would make sure the next few days were as enjoyable for Goro as being stuck in a hospital could be. He’d make him happy. Just the thought of seeing that bright, handsome smile again ignited his spirit and motivated him to give his all to his mission. Once he was home, he immediately started putting together the box lunch. He remembered Goro’s favorite rice ball fillings perfectly. Tuna, eel, and plum...two of each, all packed nicely into a box. He took a sticky note and a pen, and drew a possum (Goro’s favorite) and a message saying “You can do it!” He thought to add a few little hearts to the drawing. That wouldn’t be too much, right? No, it’d probably be weird. He just fixed their friendship, he didn’t want to give Goro the wrong idea. They might not even be friends again at this point. Maybe Goro was just tolerating him until he could get out and interact with someone better than him. Maybe this wasn’t worth it. 

His thoughts were starting to spiral and his anxiety flared as they consumed him. He took a breath and reminded himself of what his therapist told him about combating these thoughts. _ I can’t assume his feelings. Replace the negative with neutral thoughts at the very least. There’s no evidence that he doesn’t want me around. He’s always been honest. He’d say something if he didn’t want me around. _Yuuki took a few more deep breaths as he repeated those thoughts until he felt calm again. Right. It’d be fine. 

With the lunch packed, he went to his DVD collection in his room next. Of course he grabbed a few _ Featherman _ DVDs, that was a given. _ Featherman _was always their go-to for watching things together. A couple of western dramas that Goro enjoyed, and that murder mystery movie he loved so much. Perfect. He dropped the DVDs into his school bag. To finish things off, he got a deck of cards and some puzzle books. They could play some games together if he got bored of the movies, and the puzzle books would be good for when he’s alone. Everything was ready for his next visit and for the rest of the week. Things would be perfect. He’d get that big genuine smile out of Goro for sure. 

* * *

Goro had turned on some weird foreign movie in an attempt to keep himself at least moderately entertained, but he couldn’t bring himself to pay much attention. The whole movie seemed rather asinine. Why would anyone accept a remote to control time, let alone abuse it? Wouldn’t an adult know there are consequences to such a thing? Why was he even able to get such a thing at a home goods store? On top of the movie making absolutely no sense, he had far too much on his mind to truly focus on anything. 

Yuuki seemed so set on visiting him. A nurse mentioned that even before he woke up, Yuuki would spend every day there until the end of visiting hours. Why was Yuuki so set on seeing him? They fell apart. They weren’t friends anymore. He had no reason to care about Goro. So why did he? Of course, Goro didn’t entirely mind. It made him happy to see someone care so much, and somehow even more happy that it was Yuuki. But the happiness also felt... strange, to say the least. The joy he felt around Yuuki that came with the confusion as to _ why _ he was so damn happy, and why Yuuki seemed so happy too. He didn’t deserve this attention. He didn’t deserve to have someone want to be around him so much, especially after everything he put Yuuki through. So why was Yuuki treating him with such kindness again? 

He figured out his own feelings before. When they stopped talking, he had a lot of time to think on it. He figured out exactly how he felt about Yuuki. But he managed to push all that aside to focus on his mission. He didn’t need feelings getting in his way. But that wasn’t a concern anymore. Hell, he didn’t know what he should be concerned about anymore. _ Do I still feel that way about Yuuki? Did I even want to think about if I do? What would Yuuki think? _The thoughts kept him up through the night, until his body forced itself to sleep. 

* * *

School felt like it lasted for years to Yuuki. He wanted to go already! He wanted to see Goro! He had the best plan in the world for him and he wanted to see his reaction! He kept anxiously looking at the lunch in his bag as if it might disappear. Finally, after what may very well have been centuries of waiting, he was free to go. He practically sprinted to the train station, unable to even stand still as he waited for the train. He was lucky enough to get a seat, allowing him once again to peek at the lunch every couple of minutes. Once he was finally at the hospital, he walked as fast as he could without getting yelled at to Goro’s room. There was a peppy rhythm in every step he took, and even in the way he knocked at the door before impatiently waiting for Goro’s answer. 

Goro had peeked at the clock more times than he cared to admit. _ He should be here soon... Unless he doesn’t want to visit anymore. Maybe he’s finally gotten sick of me. It was only a matter of time. Why should I even care? He’s not my friend. He probably just feels bad for me. Once this is over, we’ll go our separate ways again and that’ll be that. _He was so lost in his thoughts, the sound of the door knocking made him jump a bit. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but the knock didn’t sound anything like any of the nurses. Why did he want so badly for it to be Yuuki? “Come in.”

As soon as he heard Goro’s voice, Yuuki’s face lit up even more. This would be perfect. Goro would love what he had planned. He smiled to Goro as he walked in and went to his side. “Good afternoon!” He called cheerfully. “How have things been?”

“Same as ever,” Goro said with a sigh. “Feels like I’ve been here for years already.”

“Well, I might just have something that’ll make it a little better!” Yuuki reached in his bag and pulled out the boxed lunch, presenting it to Goro with a smile. “No more sandwiches!” 

Goro gasped. Had Yuuki really thought to make him a lunch? He took it and smiled. “Oh, thank you! I don’t think I’ve ever tried one of your lunches before. Your sister always said they were good, but I didn’t want to be rude by asking for one.” 

“It wouldn’t have been rude. To be honest, I’ve wanted to make you one for awhile. I just thought you might think it’s weird.” He laughed and scratched the back of his head. “But I know how awful the food here is, so I thought I’d make you something good! If you like this one, I can make you some for the rest of the week.”

“I’m not entirely sure if I’m allowed, but what the nurses don’t know won’t hurt them.” Goro grinned and looked at the box. “Aw, you left a note and everything! What a cute little drawing.” 

“I thought you’d like it. I wanted you to know I’m cheering you on. I know being here is really tough, but I also know you’ll get through this. And that’s not all I brought!” He reached in his bag and pulled out the DVDs he brought from home. “It’s mostly _ Featherman _, but I brought a few other things too.” 

“Did you bring the third _ Featherman _movie?” Goro asked, his eyes shining with hope. “I’ve been thinking about it so much lately.” 

Yuuki scrunched his face up. “No, I didn’t. Because I have taste and wouldn’t want to put you through that.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You cannot honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you thought the third movie was good. They completely butchered Green’s character!” 

“They didn’t! If anything they were more spot on than usual!”

“Please, Green would never hesitate in battle the way she did!”

“It was reflective of her own struggle with her abilities!” 

“Which she would never have! She’s known for her constant confidence in battle!”

“Her doubt was brought on by Yellow’s criticism! It makes perfect sense!” 

“Well, Yellow wouldn’t-” Yuuki stopped, his face breaking out into a grin. “He wouldn’t...” He started to laugh, and before long was nearly doubled over in a fit of laughter. “Damnit...!”

Goro furrowed his brow, completely lost. “Is something funny?”

“We- we used to fight...all the damn time! About the worst shit! And now we’re sitting here arguing over a damn _Featherman_ movie!”

Goro smiled. God he missed that laugh so much. It made him feel so...warm. But, at the same time, Yuuki bringing up their past fights so casually stung a bit. It really was the worst, so why did Yuuki seem to forgive him? No, now wasn’t the time to think about that. He focused on that beautiful laugh, and laughed a bit himself. “It is rather silly, isn’t it?”

“Look, I have the movie despite my gripes with it, and I promise I’ll bring it tomorrow,” Yuuki said once he calmed down. “For now, how about this?” He pulled the murder mystery movie Goro liked so much from the stack. 

Goro’s face must have resembled a child getting a new game console for their birthday. “Absolutely!”

_ There it is. _The smile Yuuki adored, the smile he missed more than he could possibly say. “I knew you’d be excited about that.” He was just barely able to reach the DVD player to pop the movie in. Once he had it ready, he went to his usual seat. 

Through the whole movie, Yuuki was hardly able to pay attention. He did enjoy it but there was something he enjoyed more just right across from him. It had been so long since he had seen Goro so happy, and he wanted to treasure that smile of his forever. He ended up just staring at Goro with a smile on his face, until Goro turned to look at him. When he realized he was caught, he gasped and quickly returned his attention to the movie with a slight blush on his face. _ He totally knows I was staring. Why was I even staring so much. Sure he has a nice smile but it’s not _ that _ nice. _

_ Was he staring? No, don’t be such a narcissist. He just happened to be looking when you did. Why would he stare at you? Unless you have some rice on your face. Or he’s making fun of you. Probably both. _ Goro had to physically shake his thoughts away before he got overwhelmed. He couldn’t worry about Yuuki’s feelings towards him at the moment. Not while Yuuki was still around. He couldn’t risk being vulnerable in front of him. _ Just turn that little emotion switch to off for now, worry about it later. _

The rest of the movie was spent in silence, as well as the first two _ Featherman _movies they watched afterwards in preparation for watching the third. Neither wanted to say anything. If they spoke, they might make themselves vulnerable. If they spoke, something might spill out that they didn’t want to spill out. It was better to keep silent, not take any risks of letting out any of the emotions on their mind. They couldn’t be vulnerable around each other. Not now.

In the middle of a drama they decided to watch after _ Featherman _, a nurse came by to notify them of the end of visitor hours before shuffling out in a rush. Yuuki sighed as he got up. They may not have been talking, but he was enjoying his time just being around Goro, and he knew him leaving meant Goro would be alone again. “Oh! That’s right!” He pulled the puzzle books from his bag and put them in front of Goro. “I brought these from home. I don’t really use them much, so I thought you could use them to keep yourself entertained when I’m not around.”

Goro looked over the puzzle books. Between visiting him, making him lunch, bringing all those movies, and now this? It was almost as if Yuuki truly cared for him. He sighed and frowned. “You don’t have to do all this you know. I don’t need your pity.”

“Pity?” Yuuki frowned and crossed his arms. “I’m not doing it out of pity. Why wouldn’t I want to be there for you?”

“It’s like you said, we fought so much. We were awful to each other. There isn’t a reason for you to want to do all of this for me. I’d rather you just leave than try and coddle me.” There was a bitterness to Goro’s tone. It was better to push Yuuki away as soon as he could. It’d be easier that way. 

“I’m not coddling you. Did you forget what I-” _ Oh. That’s right. _“You weren’t awake for that...” 

“For what?” _ Did something happen while I was out? _

“So, I don’t understand everything that happened, but I understand enough to know you risked your life for them.” He hoped he didn’t have to specify who they were. Not when there’s a chance the nurse might still be right out the door. “You changed. I don’t know all the details but I know you changed. And I want to give our friendship another chance, if that’s okay.” He looked away from Goro, a bit scared of his response. _ Would he really accept being friends again? After everything that happened? _

Goro wasn’t sure of what to say at first. He wanted to give another go at being friends with Yuuki. He really did. He missed the time they spent together more than he could express. But what if it ended in disaster again? What if he just hurt Yuuki again? He may have changed in some ways, but there was so much he did that he couldn’t take back. Did he really deserve such a chance? He stayed quiet in thought for a minute, weighing his options. 

Yuuki tensed up. _ I should have known better... _“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. That was too much.” 

“We can try again.”

“I know- wait, you want to?” His face slowly transformed from disappointment to excitement. “You really want to?”

Goro nodded. “If I’m being honest, I’ve missed you a lot.” 

“I missed you too.” Yuuki sighed and let himself relax. “But we don’t have to worry about that now. We can try things again. I think it’ll be better this time.” 

_ We can try things again. We can be happy this time. _“Let’s do it then. I look forward to seeing you again.” Goro smiled. His worries slowly began to wash away. If Yuuki wanted to be friends again so badly, it wouldn’t hurt, right?

Yuuki nodded and smiled right back. Things would go well this time, he just knew it. “You know you’ll see me tomorrow,” He said as he headed towards the door. “Can’t wait for it.” He made his way out, happier than he had been after any of his past visits. _ Right. Things will work this time. I’ll make sure of it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably go ahead and note that this will be more canon divergent than it already is for two reasons:
> 
> 1) I have actually not played past Christmas Eve, I do not know what happens from there on out.  
2) I don't want to focus on all that stuff when I can focus on the yearning. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and as always, kudos and comments make my day and encourage me to keep going!!!


	3. Something to Look Forward To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finds a gift. Goro does a film review. Both have something to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYY I'M ALIVE!!!  
Also!! I changed the title of the fic. The old title just wasn't working for me.

With Goro's stay nearly over, there came a day full of checkups and the like to ensure he was truly ready to go home, meaning Yuuki visiting wasn't really a possibility. Rather than stay home bored and alone, Yuuki took the time to do some shopping with Shiho. It had been awhile since he spent time with her, or really anyone but Goro, and he needed the trip out as well. On top of all that, going somewhere other than school, the hospital, or home would probably be good for him. It could help him clear his mind of all his worries surrounding his newly reclaimed friendship. 

“Miya-chan tries her best, but I don’t really think Kaede-san will ever feel the same. I wish I could try and talk her out of i-" Shiho cut herself off. "Yuuki? Have you been listening at all?” She frowned and lightly tapped at Yuuki’s ankle with her cane. 

Through all of her talking, Yuuki had been staring at a wall in the thrift shop he and Shiho took a trip to, accidentally tuning her out as his focus was pulled elsewhere. “Oh! Sorry.” He muttered as he rubbed the back of his head. “Your friend has an unrequited crush, right? Sounds rough... Maybe she should move on...” Again, Yuuki’s attention drifted to the wall, specifically a framed poster hanging on it. 

“Did you see something you want?” Shiho looked over to the wall Yuuki had been staring at and smiled a bit. “Of course it’s _Featherman_. You still haven't let go of it after all these years. Why a poster for the third movie though? You always rant about how awful it is." 

"I mean, I still hate it. It's horrible." Yuuki moved closer to the poster as he spoke. "But I have a friend that loves it, and things have been pretty rough for him lately." If that wasn't the understatement of the century. “I wonder if he’d like it.” 

“Well, you won’t know if you don’t try. I say you get it.” Shiho put a hand on Yuuki’s shoulder. “If he doesn’t like it, you can always keep it.” 

Yuuki’s face scrunched. “Hell no. I have some standards.” He looked at the price sticker on the frame. 1500 yen. He had more than enough for it. An employee walked by just as he was ready to ask for assistance. 

“Excuse me...” He called. The employee walked right past, paying him no mind at all. Yuuki sighed. Even after all these years, he really was impossible to notice, wasn’t he? He couldn’t take this thing down himself, could he? No, he couldn’t risk breaking anything. 

“That was rude...” Shiho grumbled. “I’ll go get someone, okay? Just wait here so no one else takes it.” With that, she went off in search of help. 

Crossing his arms, Yuuki leaned against the wall with a sigh. This had been a problem his whole life. No one ever seemed to notice him unless they were making fun of him. He didn’t just blend in, he was invisible. Even when the whole country was gossiping about him and Goro, most of what they said about him was how boring he looked, about how Goro could do better, and how he didn’t deserve to hang out with a prince. It shouldn’t hurt him after nearly 17 years, but it did. He couldn’t even get his parent’s attention most of the time. They were so caught up and all the amazing things his little sister could do, he was sort of an afterthought, if even that much. He tried to not think about it too much, but he got so caught up in moping, he didn’t notice when Shiho came back with an employee right behind her. 

“Yuuki! I got someone!” Shiho said with a smile. She stopped when he looked up. Yuuki hadn’t even realized, but he ended up sulking quite a bit while lost in his thoughts. “Everything alright?” 

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Yuuki forced a smile so she wouldn’t worry." I just spaced out a bit while waiting.” He rubbed the back of his head and made his best attempt at laughing it off. “No big deal at all.” He could tell Shiho didn’t believe him, but knew she wasn’t going to push him to talk, especially not in front of someone else like this. She was more likely to try and distract him from his thoughts the first chance they got. It was a much more pleasant way of dealing with his emotions than forcing him to talk and risking his emotions getting the better of him in public. 

The employee pulled down the poster, and the two set out to see if there was anything else they wanted. As Shiho looked through the women’s clothing, something caught Yuuki’s eye. Hanging on a rack, with just enough space between it and the other clothes to make it perfectly visible, was a flowy, light blue skirt knee length with a pattern small pink flowers on it. It looked like it’d match a blouse he recently bought. He looked at the skirt, then back over to Shiho, who seemed preoccupied looking at some t-shirts. He couldn’t buy the skirt with her here. Okay, maybe he could make an excuse. Say he was getting it for his sister. But what if she asked his sister about it later? The two were in touch with each other, and even though they rarely talked, it wasn’t a risk he could take. He’d have to wait until he was alone, and hope no one bought it before then. 

Shiho picked out a couple t-shirts with her favorite mascot characters on them and the two made their way to pay for their selections. Once they were outside, a chill late autumn breeze swept past them, and Shiho shivered slightly. “It’s too early for it to be this cold...” 

“It’s really not that bad,” Yuuki said. “You just need to get a better coat before it gets colder.” 

“I have one already. I just didn’t expect it to get this cold so soon.” Shiho sighed and shoved her hand not occupied by her cane into her jacket pocket. “So, who’s the poster for? Anyone I know?” There was the distraction. 

“Well, it’s someone you know _ of _ at least.” Yuuki realized he hadn’t told her about the situation with Goro yet. Not intentionally or anything, it just didn’t come up at all. This was the first time they really talked at all since he found out, and he hadn’t really gotten the opportunity to say anything about it until now. “A lot happened, but Goro and I have started talking again. He’s been through a lot since we last talked and I just... I really want to be there for him.” 

“That’s so sweet of you. I’m glad you two made up. I could tell there was something different about you today.” She looked at Yuuki and smiled. “You’re much happier than I’ve seen you in awhilE. I noticed it when you first started talking to him, too. You really like him, don’t you?” 

Panic swept over Yuuki. _ Really like him? I mean yeah he’s a friend, but what does she mean by that? It’s not- It really isn’t anything that serious. Is it? _“I guess you could say it like that, yeah!” He hid his panic behind a smile. “I just... I’m glad to be his friend again.” He relaxed at that. Right, Goro was his friend again. He’d be released tomorrow, the two already had plans to go to Yuuki’s house so Goro could have some of Yuuki’s dad’s cooking. Something nicer than even Yuuki’s lunches. They’d be happy again. Things would go back to the same as always. 

“I really hope everyone can give you some space this time. It must have been awful, having everyone gossip about you.” 

“It does get irritating at times.” Yuuki sighed. It didn’t seem like people were talking about Goro much anymore. Not since the most recent Phantom Thief activity. Maybe that meant they could go about their friendship in peace this time. 

“But you know? As much as I hated how people wouldn’t leave the two of you alone, you look so happy in a lot of the pictures I saw.” Shiho sighed dreamily. “There’s really something strong between the two of you, isn’t there? It’s beautiful to see.” 

“Y-yeah. Beautiful is one way of putting it.” What was she thinking? She didn’t think there was any bond beyond friendship between him and Goro, right? Because there wasn’t. That’d just be ridiculous. They were friends. Probably not even close friends. That’s all they ever would be, because his feelings did not and would not go beyond that. Ever. He needed to change the subject fast, before Shiho could get the wrong idea. “So anyways, about your friend. Miya-chan right? I’d love to hear more about that situation.” 

* * *

“Well, it looks like you’re clear for release tomorrow!” 

The nurse’s cheerfulness grated on Goro’s nerves quite a bit. All this time they spent making him suffer and they were still going to smile and pull off this blatantly fake friendly act? He almost wanted to tell them off, but it wasn’t worth the energy. He just had to deal with it for another day and then he could leave, go spend time with Yuuki and his family. Yuuki’s family... It’d be wonderful. 

Since he never really had a family of his own, Yuuki’s family always amazed Goro. His father cooked the most amazing meals to bring his family together. His mother was so kind and caring, but strong and willing to do anything to protect her loved ones. His sister was so full of energy and clearly adored her big brother more than anything on the planet. To someone who had mostly been tossed from foster family to foster family and marked as a problem child by most of them, it was amazing. He was a bit jealous at times, but he enjoyed his time with such kind people. 

He couldn’t wait to see them, but he was also worried. They knew how much he and Yuuki fought towards the end of their friendship, they knew how badly he hurt Yuuki. Would they be mad at him for that? Maybe they wouldn’t want to see him. They probably hated him. They’d just yell at him and make him leave. Or maybe they’d just silently stare at him in disappointment. That almost sounded worse. Curse his need to have the approval of everyone he ever met, especially adults. He shouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. He could start a new life for himself. One where he did what he wanted, not what he felt he had to do to get praise. But what did he want? 

He hadn’t made any plans past “revenge on Shido.” He didn’t know where to go from there. Continue being a detective? Was that what he wanted to do for the rest of his life? He felt like there had to be something more. Something else he wanted to do. But he had no idea what that something was, and he didn’t know where to start looking. He never even thought about college at all, and there wasn’t much time left to do so. It was all so headache-inducing. He could think about it all later, not while still stuck on a hospital bed with another shitty western movie playing. But what could he do instead? The puzzle books got a bit boring. They were all so simple and got repetitive after a couple books. He needed something else to occupy his mind. He knew Yuuki had plans with a friend today but he couldn’t get his mind off talking to him. Maybe he’d be available now...

**Goro: **Tomorrow’s the day. 

**Goro: **I wish the time would go by faster.

**Yuuki: **i wish it would too! 

**Yuuki: ** i made sure dad would make something you’ll love.  
**Yuuki**: it’s a surprise though! (－ｏ⌒)

Goro’s whole face lit up when he got the text back. Finally, some form of joy on this miserable, slow day. Yuuki always knew how to make him smile. 

**Goro: **I can’t even get a hint? Now that’s hardly fair. 

**Yuuki:** nope! no hints! 

**Goro: **You’re going to keep me up all night thinking now. 

**Yuuki: **my lips are sealed!! (*^ω^*)

Yuuki’s genuine playfulness was so refreshing compared to the forced facades the nurses put on. It even made Goro laugh. How long had it been since he felt like this?

**Goro: **Fine, fine.

**Goro: ** Are you still out with your friend?

**Yuuki: **she went home, and i’m about to head home myself.

**Yuuki: **i’d go see you but visiting hours would be closed by the time i got there. 

**Yuuki: **i hope you have something fun to do while i’m not there. (◞‸◟；)

**Goro: **I have the TV on, but I’m hardly paying attention.

**Goro: **There’s a channel that only plays foreign films. I’m not really sure why a hospital has such a channel available. Most of the movies aren’t even good. 

**Goro: **The movie that’s on now seems to be about some sort of bird related apocalypse. 

**Goro: **The special effects and acting both leave a lot to be desired. I’m sure I could say the same about the storyline if I was actively watching. 

**Goro: **I think it’s supposed to have some form of environmental commentary.

**Goro: **But it’s frankly it’s falling flat. 

**Goro: **Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to ramble so much. 

**Yuuki: **it’s fine! i like watching you ramble.

**Yuuki: **you know watching bad movies can be entertaining if you have someone with you to make fun of them. 

**Yuuki: **we should try it sometime!

**Goro: **I’ve never thought of something like that.

**Goro: **But if you say it’s fun, I’d be willing to give it a try!

Making plans like this really set things in Goro’s mind. They were friends again. It’d be different this time. There wouldn’t be anything in their way. They could spend time together, watch movies, play games, whatever they wanted. It felt like he could be a normal teenager for once. Could he finally live like one? Is this what normal people his age did? He never really did any of the things that were considered "normal” growing up. Even when he was much younger, he dedicated himself to his studies in order to impress the adults around him, and didn’t even make an attempt to befriend his peers or form any real interests. When he thought about it, Yuuki may very well have been his first true friend. To think he almost let that fall apart. He’d hold onto Yuuki this time. He’d make sure things worked out well. 

The two texted well into the night, just like they used to. Jokes and cat memes, strange dreams and hopes for the future, all of it eventually dissolving into trying to convince the other to sleep but refusing to go to sleep first. 

**Yuuki: **i’m way too excited to sleep!! 

**Goro: **The sooner you sleep, the sooner it’ll be tomorrow. 

**Yuuki: **damn your logic! (●o≧д≦)o

**Goro: **No amount of cute faces will get you out of it. You need your sleep. 

Goro gasped and tried to stop himself from sending the message, but by the time he realized he had just technically called Yuuki cute, it was too late. He groaned and buried his face in his pillow. _ He's totally going to take it the wrong way. _

It wasn't a lie, though. He did think the faces were cute. _ A lot of what he does is cute... _Would Yuuki find that weird? Was it weird for him to think the way Yuuki lit up when excited, the way he always cared for others, or the way he always laughed until he cried cute? Did people find their friends as cute as he found Yuuki? He really didn't need to overthink things right now. He needed some sleep before he said anything else stupid. 

* * *

Yuuki blushed. "Cute faces?" Did Goro think the emotes were cute? Was that a good thing? He was too tired to try and think about it. He should probably just take Goro’s suggestion and get some rest. 

**Yuuki: **fine, you win. but you have to promise to sleep too!

**Goro: **I will as long as you do. 

**Yuuki: **sleep well, then. ill see you tomorrow! 

**Yuuki: ** (￣▽￣)ノ

**Goro: **I'll see you! 

**Goro: **(。-ω-)zzz

_ He just sent that face because I send them... Cute... _ Yuuki sighed as he put his phone aside. Try as he might, he knew getting to sleep was going to be a struggle. He just wanted it to be tomorrow already! He wanted to have Goro over and have dinner together and play some games. _ And then he'll stay the night and I can wake up and see that dreamy face. _He curled up a bit. His tired mind was getting the best of him, giving him all these weird soft thoughts. He couldn't even fight them anymore. As he finally managed to doze off, his last thoughts all focused on how fun the next day would be. 

* * *

Goro wasn't exactly ready to sleep either. He'd gotten used to how uncomfortable the bed was, that wasn't an issue anymore. But all he could think about was the plans for tomorrow, how much he wanted to see Yuuki again. It had been way too long since the two of them did anything together, and way too long since he felt this excited about something. His mind wouldn't let him rest until the last of his energy had been spent and he finally drifted off to sleep. 

_ Tomorrow will be the best day ever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for anyone keeping up with Phantom Puppet Master, I'm taking a break and I'll probably rewrite it. I don't really like the direction I took with it. I think I'm just going to dedicate myself to this, prompts from Tumblr, and maybe some OC content.  
As always, I LOVE kudos and comments!!!


	4. Full of Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki's excitement gets the best of him, but so do his doubts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeehaw I'm actually alive and so is this fic.  
So due to some feedback I've gotten, I'm going to be sticking to one perspective per chapter, instead of alternating viewpoints in a single chapter like I have been. Hopefully that'll make things easier to read!!  
Warning in this chapter for talks of body image and dysphoria!

_“Now welcoming to the floor, our special guest, Prince Goro Akechi.” _

_As his name was announced, the prince gracefully walked through the large oak doors. All eyes were on him. Some of the young women attending the party swooned as they watched him seemingly float into the ballroom. Known for his good looks, his quick wit, and his dazzling personality, Prince Akechi was a key guest for any royal celebration. Everyone wanted a chance to dance with him, but he showed no interest, even passing on a dance with the young, bright Princess Kokoro Mishima whose birthday the ball was for. Instead, he made his way to the quiet Prince Yuuki, the birthday girl’s older brother who seemed completely disinterested in the festivities of the night. _

_“Good evening, dear prince,” Prince Akechi greeted with a bow and a charming smile before offering his hand out to the other. “Care to dance?”_

_Yuuki wasn’t one for celebrations. He didn’t really know how to dance, or how to talk to people, or really anything about these events. For a prince, his charm was incredibly low. As such, he spent most balls and other parties off to the side of the room, unnoticed by most guests. Still, somehow tonight’s special guest took note of him, and even offered him a dance! A very handsome and charming prince, with the whole party falling at his feet, and he wanted to dance with Yuuki of all people? There had to be a mistake. No way he meant to talk to some barely worthwhile prince most people didn’t even notice half the time._

_“This is my sister’s party, not mine,” he said. “I think you meant to offer this dance to her.”_

_“Oh no, I know who I offered. I would like to dance with you, and you alone.” Prince Akechi flashed another smile. _

_Being given such a dazzling smile sent light blush across Yuuki’s cheeks. Someone finally took note of him, and not only that, it was a handsome, charming prince. It almost didn’t seem real. Anyone at this stupid ball would kill for this offer, and yet, Prince Akechi noticed him out of all the guests. Was he being mocked? Did someone put Akechi up to this? There was no way anyone, especially not someone so handsome, would ever take note of him, and yet, here he was, with quite possibly the most handsome person in the room offering a dance to him. Still, as much as he wanted to accept..._

_“I really don’t dance. I don’t even know how,” Yuuki admitted. “I’d probably just stumble over your feet.”_

_“And if I told you that’s a risk I’m willing to take? What would you say then?”_

_Those words only served to make Yuuki blush more. Why was someone so pretty so insistent on dancing with him of all people? As nervous as it made him, he didn’t want to reject the offer. It almost felt like he was under some sort of spell. Prince Akechi was so enchanting, and he’d probably never get this chance again. _

_He smiled as he took the other prince’s hand. “One dance won’t hurt, will it?” As soon as he took Prince Akechi’s hand, he was whisked away onto the floor. The pair laughed together, and for once, Yuuki felt like he might enjoy at least a small amount of the night. _

_“So, might I ask what such a lovely prince was doing all on his own in the corner?” Prince Akechi asked as they danced together. _

_“Well, to begin with, most people don’t seem to notice I’m there,” Yuuki explained. Kind of a sore subject, but he couldn’t blame anyone for that but himself. He wasn’t the kind of person people wanted to notice._

_“I’m certain that’s not the only reason. Why do you not make an attempt at getting noticed?” _

_“I never really liked these fancy events to begin with. They’re boring and stuffy, and I hate dressing up for them.” _

_Prince Akechi hummed in agreement. “The life of royalty is rather ‘boring and stuffy,’ isn’t it? Perhaps we could find our own fun?” The mischievous grin on his face was an intense contrast to his usual princely smile._

_Yuuki raised an eyebrow. “Our own fun? What do you mean?”_

_“Meet me in the garden in an hour. You’ve charmed me already, and I’d love to get to know you better.” _

_ Someone wanted to get to know him? Found him charming? Wanted alone time with him? What? Was this real or some sort of cruel joke? Once again, despite his worries, he found it impossible to say no. “I’d love to. You’re uh... really charming too.” God, admitting that sounded so stupid. _

_As the song finished and their dance came to a close, the pair pulled apart, and Prince Akechi placed a gentle kiss on Yuuki’s hand. “Until then, dear prince.”_

* * *

  
  


Yuuki woke up to the startling feeling of cold and wet. He sputtered as he sat up, and glared at the figure hovering over him. “Kokoro! What the hell?!” 

“Dad told me to wake you up,” his sister defended. Unlike Yuuki, she was fully awake and ready for the day. Hair in the pigtails she always wore, blue extensions going over her shoulders, uniform on; she was ready for the day. “Maybe you should wake up to your alarm and I wouldn’t have to splash you!” 

As he looked at his phone, Yuuki groaned at the “missed alarm” notification. He stayed up so late being excited about seeing Goro, he didn’t get to sleep until his body forced him to. He didn’t even recall his alarm going off. How deep asleep was he for that to happen? He needed to focus on getting ready for school before he was late. 

“Well, now that you’ve done your job, can you get out so I can get ready?” 

Kokoro ran out of the room, and Yuuki got up and headed to his closet to get dressed. He only got as far as getting his binder on when he found himself staring at his own reflection. He never had the most athletic body, and lost what little form he had in the months since the end of the volleyball team. It wasn’t that he was out of shape, but he certainly wasn’t in shape either. He gave up on his athlete’s diet and regular exercise, and now he looked... almost pathetic, if he were to be honest with himself. 

Every detail of his body stood out to him like red marks on a quiz. He flexed and... nope. No arm muscle. Just sad and flabby. He put on a bit of weight, and it made the curves he hated so much even more clear. He also lost the small amount of tone he had in his legs, and the weight that didn’t go to his stomach went to his thighs. It was a little depressing, but no matter how much it was upsetting him he couldn’t bring himself to look away. It was like looking at a car wreck. A curvy, dysphoria-inducing, self esteem killing car wreck. 

He missed having at least some muscle; what little he did have before was kind of validating and made him feel more masculine. Maybe he should get back on working out? It’d suck to do it alone though. Goro probably wouldn’t be interested. Shiho could still barely walk without aid. Besides, she moved so far when she transferred, he couldn’t expect her to make that long of a trip regularly. Ryuji might be interested. Akira had mentioned going to the gym with him before. Yeah. That sounded like a plan. Ask Ryuji. Hell, maybe Akira could come as well. The more moral support the better, right? Once that decision was made, Yuuki realized he spent so much time staring at himself that he wasn’t even dressed in time to leave with his sister. He was so going to be late. 

Once he put on his uniform, Yuuki headed to the kitchen to grab his breakfast. He didn’t really have time for one of his dad’s homemade breakfasts, so he grabbed a granola bar and an apple before heading out to catch the train. After everything that happened, being at the station brought back memories of his first few interactions with Goro. The selfie, talking every day, eventually becoming close friends, only for things to shatter completely. But they got a new start. Pretty soon, they might be able to meet up every day again like they used to. They would be meeting at the Aoyama Itchome station outside of school when the school day ended, and then they could properly resume their friendship.

Most students were already at school, and adults already at work, so the train wasn’t too crowded, and Yuuki was lucky enough to get a seat. He struggled to stay awake through the entire ride, stuck in a seemingly never ending pattern of nodding off and snapping himself back to reality. He only barely stayed awake enough to hear his stop being called, and had to drag himself off the train. If he couldn’t wake himself up soon, it was going to be a long, long day. 

The start of the day was a bit rough to stay awake through, but as time passed his excitement began to keep him awake. _ Just a few more hours. A few more hours and you’ll get to see him. You can get through this. You have to be wide awake when you hang out, so wake up now. _By lunch he was wide awake, able to keep his head up and eyes open. Once lunch started, Ann approached his desk and sat in the seat in front of him left free by a classmate leaving for lunch with their friend.

This became the routine for them since the “death” of the leader of the Phantom Thieves (the reality of which Yuuki tried not to think about too hard). In the short time since the event, he and Ann became rather good friends. They hadn’t really talked any more than in passing before, and at first Yuuki felt like he was just a rebound lunch buddy, but Ann seemed so kind and genuinely interested in talking to him. It left him wondering why they hadn’t become friends before. 

“You know, I saw you dozing off today,” Ann said. “Did you get enough sleep last night?

Yuuki winced. Was his lack of sleep really that noticeable? Maybe he could still play it off so he wouldn’t have to make Ann worry about him. If he was being honest with himself, Ann’s concern over his condition was a bit of a shock. Sure, they were friends at this point, but he didn’t think they were close enough for her to take note of something as simple as dozing off in such a way. He couldn’t make himself a burden, after all. 

“I slept.” Not entirely a lie. Two and a half hours of sleep is still sleep. “What made you ask?”

“Like I said, you were dozing off. Akira mentioned before how bad your sleeping habits tend to be.” Ann frowned and looked at Yuuki in a way that told him there was no way out of the mortifying ordeal of a concerned friend. 

The truth was embarrassing to admit. Yuuki didn’t want to seem like some overeager child that got all excited about a damn sleepover. He tried to think up an excuse, but he was still a bit too tired to think up something on the spot. “Well. You see uh. The thing about that is. It’s really just. Hang on, give me a second.” Why did his brain have to shut off now of all times?

“Yuuki.” Ann’s tone was one of a parent concerned her child is hanging out with the wrong types of people, rather than someone scolding their friend for his poor sleeping habits. “Akira said you tend to push yourself too hard. I just want to make sure you’re not overworking or anything.” 

There was no way out of this. If Yuuki kept dodging the question, Ann would only worry about him more. Admitting the truth, no matter how embarrassing, was better than making his friend concerned. “It was just last night,” He admitted. “Goro gets out of the hospital today, and he’s going to stay the night. I was so excited I could barely sleep.” It occured to Yuuki he never told Ann about visiting Goro despite how much of his life it consumed. It was just so stressful not knowing when Goro would wake up, and later seeing him trapped like a bird in a cage; he didn't like to think about it too much, let alone talk about it during lunch of all times. 

Maybe Yuuki's lack of desire to talk about Goro with Ann was for the best. At the mention of his name, she looked away and bit her lip lightly. “Oh, right. You were visiting him when he was in the hospital too, weren't you?” She asked in a more hushed tone. 

Yuuki could take a hint. It’s no surprise Goro was kind of a sore subject. Even if he had saved them in the end, he did betray the Thieves, and it was his fault Akira had to fake his death and why he had to pretend to be back home. If it weren’t for all that, Ann would be able to eat lunch with Akira instead of Yuuki. He couldn’t blame her for being tense at the mention of the person that attempted to kill their friend. 

If he was being honest, Yuuki had a lot of trouble processing his own feelings on the situation. Akira told him everything, and he seemed to be forgiving, but was it right for Yuuki to just let go of it like that? Did Goro's sacrifice really just completely erase his other actions? Was it fair for Yuuki to just let go of it like that? Did it make him a bad friend? 

“Hey, are you still there?” Ann waved a hand in Yuuki’s face, and he realized he’d gotten lost in his thoughts for a bit. 

“Oh, s-sorry! I was just. Thinking about things.” He sighed and looked at his lunch, which he realized he hadn’t even touched yet. He got so caught up in the conversation he forgot it was even lunch time. 

“About Akechi, right?” She saw right through him. Like a psychic. Or like someone who could take context clues based on the conversation they were previously having. “I’ll be honest. A lot happened and I don’t think anyone knows how to feel about it. It probably looked like I was upset with you for mentioning him... Sorry about that.” She perked up and smiled at Yuuki. “Here, to make up for it, you can have my dessert!” She said before placing a cupcake in Yuuki’s lunchbox. “It’s all yours!” 

“Oh no, I couldn’t!” Yuuki quickly returned the cupcake to its rightful owner. “I haven’t even touched my actual lunch. I can’t even think about my own dessert right now, let alone someone else’s.”

“Well, you can still eat it after you finish your lunch!” The cupcake was once again handed off to Yuuki. “I should probably cut back on desserts anyways.” 

“I’m fine, really!” And back to Ann. “I shouldn’t take someone else’s lunch.”

“I’m offering it to you!” Ann insisted as she gave the treat right back to Yuuki. 

Defeated, Yuuki let out a sigh. Ann was being so stubborn. They would be here for the rest of lunch if he didn’t cave in. “Fine. I’ll take it if you want me to take it that badly. But I’m saving it for last in case you change your mind!” 

Ultimately, Ann never changed her mind, and the cupcake went to Yuuki. Though he wasted most of lunch with his worries and racing thoughts, he managed to finish everything before class resumed. He got through the rest of his classes without dozing off, and practically dashed out the door and to the stairs, slamming directly into someone walking by as he did so. 

“Hey! Watch where you’re-!”

“Sorry! Sorry, I- Oh uh. Hey Ryuji.” Yuuki’s flustered apologies were cut off as soon as he realized he hadn’t bumped into anyone who would hurt him for it. “Sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was running. Are you alright?” 

“Yeah, fine. You should be more careful though. Coulda knocked us both down the stairs.” Despite his scolding words, Ryuji smiled and pat Yuuki’s head. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good, just glad it was you I bumped into and not some angry asshole that would knock me out or something.” Yuuki said as he playfully swatted at his friend’s hand. “Oh hey, I wanted to ask you something.”

“And I want to answer you something.” The grin on Ryuji’s face that formed as he was speaking slowly dropped. “Wait, that sounded dumb. Can I try again?”

“Nope. No time for retries.” The pout on Ryuji’s face as he was denied earned a soft chuckle from Yuuki. “I was just wondering, would you want to go to the gym together sometime? I think I’ve let myself go too much since... everything that happened, and I kind of want to try getting active again.” _ So I’m not consistently made aware of my body’s severe lack of testosterone. _

“Oh hell yeah!” Ryuji gleefully clenched his fist. “I’ve got a great place we can go to. Akira and I already go there pretty regularly. The more manpower we have the better right? Harder to slack off when you’ve got two buddies watchin’ you work. Though, it’s probably better to wait and let him join us when he doesn’t have to hide all the time.” 

Yuuki hid his excitement over his contribution to the group being considered ‘manpower’ behind excitement over working out with friends. “Awesome! Can’t wait! I’ll make sure to stay on track with both of you!” 

“You free tomorrow? Akira might not be able to come, but I’m sure we can get plenty done with just the two of us!” 

“I can’t actually,” Yuuki said, laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his head. “Goro’s staying the night with me tonight, and we planned on spending tomorrow out too.”

Any joy or excitement in Ryuji’s face and voice dropped, just as it had with Ann, “Oh right. Forgot you two used to hang out.” He sighed and looked to the stairs. “Well hey, I actually... gotta go now. Mom needs my help with some chores at home. We can talk about the workout stuff later. See ya.” 

There wasn’t any of Ryuji’s usual enthusiasm in his goodbye, it was as if he lost all interest in Yuuki once he mentioned Goro. This... wasn’t going to get in the way of his friendship with the Thieves he had managed to befriend, was it...? Strangely enough given the circumstances, Akira was the _ least _bothered when Yuuki mentioned Goro. He almost seemed supportive of their friendship, in fact! He was the one to tell Yuuki about Goro’s condition, and about the things that had happened that led to his hospitalization. Ann and Ryuji both seemed so upset about Yuuki so much as mentioning hanging out with him. Did they hate him for being so forgiving? 

No. He wasn’t going to let his doubts ruin his excitement. He and Goro would be friends again, Akira was the most wronged here and he didn’t seem to mind at all. Ann and Ryuji and all the other Thieves would have to learn to deal with that, plain and simple. He was going to enjoy his renewed friendship without guilt. 

...Okay, with minimum guilt. 

Once he cleared his mind of any negative thoughts regarding his excitement about the next couple of days, Yuuki made his way down to the station.

He was going to enjoy his weekend, whether his other friends liked it or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to get updates out at least every other week from here on out, but I don't want to rush myself of course. Still I at least will try not to have as big of a gap as chapters 3 and 4 haha. ;;
> 
> As always, kudos and comments keep me going! Also, if you want some previews as I'm writing, I occasionally post previews on my writing Tumblr, gncyuukimishima! Thank you for your support!!

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm gonna switch between writing a chapter for this and then a chapter for PPM. Gonna try to get at least one chapter out for one or the other a week. If I can find a good rhythm I'll start having set days I update on!


End file.
